Day 5 Moods :s

Ok, so im back again today, as i would like to write about something im not particularly proud about. My moods seem to be getting out of hand as of lately. DH is usually at the receiving end of the brunts, and while in the heat of the moment i blurt out all this nonsense jibber, i honestly regret it after. The problem is, what i say while im in the heat of the moment is usually out of left field and has nothing to do with anything (i know that makes no sense, but it makes no sense to me too). So anyways, the part im not proud about is calling my DH a fat piece of shit. Now really, who in their right mind would use such demeaning and insulting words?? I feel like a cow right now :(

It was so uncalled for, and so inappropriate. His crime you may ask? Well, not parking where i asked him to, resulting in me walking an extra 3 steps to drop a package in the mailbox ignited the off-mood. But it was actually forgetting the eggs from the supermarket (which i emphasised i needed to make dinner) that ignited the fire. He is so kind and caring toward me, and has been nothing but supporting throughout this whole experience. Even the 2 other closest people who i honestly thought i would be able to rely on during this time are not here for me, and i dont think will be (they have their own "important" things going on in their lives, obviously too busy to notice i need them more than ever right now). So DH has not only been expected to be my rock, my supportive partner, and my supportive mentor, but also my best friend and my sister at the same time.

I hate justifying such immature actions, as i know there is no way to justify speaking to my own husband like that, but im just so angry that my sister cannot pick up the phone to ring me to ask how everything is going. She knew about my fertilty issues, and even though she probably doesnt know we have begun IVF, she did know i was looking into it, and had some appointments regarding combatting infertility. Instead she is too busy planning her wedding.