The journey is over :(
I went for a blood test at 7am this morning, and the nurse rung me back with the results at 3pm.
Dr. Lok has decided that in the best interest of trying to achieve a pregnancy, this cycle should be cancelled. My body responded extremely poorly to the drugs, and there was no chance of picking up any decent eggs.
Needless to say, im gutted.
I really thought this would be my break! Im young, fit and positive, and i thought these factors combined with the highest dose of FSH - surely i could have produced some good quality follicles.
It just wasnt meant to be!
Dr Lok is putting another plan together, using different drugs for the next round. I have to wait for a period to show up, then i can start on the next cycle immediately - should i wish to.
In the mean time, ill be focusing on winding up the semester at uni, giving it the best i can!
Hopefully i'll be bloggin' round 2 soon ;)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
The devastation kicks in :(
I went for a blood test and a scan this morning. The nurse rang back with the results around 12pm to tell me that my body was just not responding to the higher dose of puregon, and that Dr Lok couldnt understand why this was the case.
At this point (day 12 Puregon), I should be growing numerous amounts of follicles (around 16) that should be around 16mm in size. Instead i had a low number (3 or 4) that where tiny in size (under 6mm).
She quizzed me on how i was taking the injections, what time i was taking them, if they were being stored in the fridge etc. and was completely baffled as to why my body hadnt responded. This is very unusual as i am considered "young", and pretty much i should be ready for an Egg PickUp because i have been doing everything correctly, but clearly i am not.
I need to take Puregon for another two days and go in for a blood test on Tuesday morning. If the tests show no signs of growth (to the sizes they need them) then this IVF cycle will be cancelled.
I have spent the day crying about it, feeling pretty sorry for myself. Dh has been lovely and understanding, but i just feel he really doesnt understand the implications of it for me :(
Needless to say, today was a pretty devastating day for me.
At this point (day 12 Puregon), I should be growing numerous amounts of follicles (around 16) that should be around 16mm in size. Instead i had a low number (3 or 4) that where tiny in size (under 6mm).
She quizzed me on how i was taking the injections, what time i was taking them, if they were being stored in the fridge etc. and was completely baffled as to why my body hadnt responded. This is very unusual as i am considered "young", and pretty much i should be ready for an Egg PickUp because i have been doing everything correctly, but clearly i am not.
I need to take Puregon for another two days and go in for a blood test on Tuesday morning. If the tests show no signs of growth (to the sizes they need them) then this IVF cycle will be cancelled.
I have spent the day crying about it, feeling pretty sorry for myself. Dh has been lovely and understanding, but i just feel he really doesnt understand the implications of it for me :(
Needless to say, today was a pretty devastating day for me.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Lymph Nodes!
Well, a couple of weeks ago, right after i started the Lucrin, i noticed a small ache in the right hand side of my neck. Thinking it was a pulled muscle, i carried on with life pretty normally. The pain kind of turned dull, but always remained there. I had a feeling it may have been something aside a pulled muscle, but thought to give it a few more days. Yesterday, the pain became almost unbearable, and i could hardly turn my neck. I booked a 9am appointment to see the doctor, who rushed me off for an ultrasound as he agreed straight away that he could feel "lumps".
The results arrived back around 2pm, and showed that my lymph nodes were working overtime trying to drain fluids, and had become blocked. This formed clusters of something arather, and they are now inflammed. He has prescribed some anti-biotics to try and get rid of the inflammtion before it turns into an infection (which means they would have to be drained). I have a nurses appointment tomorrow, so i will mention the anti-biotics to them as im a little hesitant taking them so close to the Egg PickUp, despite the doctor reassuring me that antibiotics are completely safe to take during an IVF/early pregnancy.
The results arrived back around 2pm, and showed that my lymph nodes were working overtime trying to drain fluids, and had become blocked. This formed clusters of something arather, and they are now inflammed. He has prescribed some anti-biotics to try and get rid of the inflammtion before it turns into an infection (which means they would have to be drained). I have a nurses appointment tomorrow, so i will mention the anti-biotics to them as im a little hesitant taking them so close to the Egg PickUp, despite the doctor reassuring me that antibiotics are completely safe to take during an IVF/early pregnancy.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Day 14 of Lucrin - Day 7 of Puregon
I had a blood test this morning, followed by an ultrasound.
Both events were short and sweet, and were relatively comfortable.
The sonographer handed me a pad with a pen and asked me to write numbers as she scanned!
She had an "E" which i wrote a 3 against.
Then against the "L" which stood for Left ovary i wrote 4, and against "R" (right ovary) i wrote 0.
I have no freakin idea what any of that even meant, but i thought it was worth a mention ;) since ill have nothing important to report until the rusults of this mornings tests come back in a few hours.
The Nurse called me at around 12pm with todays results. Sadly my body hasnt responded "as well" to the FSH as it should be, so i have to increase the Puregon dose to 450 starting from tomorrow. I will stay at this dose (along with the Lucrin) and go in for another blood test and scan on Saturday morning.
She explained that the follicles appeared to be too small to even count (4mm or under) and that typically around day 10-12 they should measure approx 16mm. Even though im only on around day 7 of my FSH, i can see im a bit behind in the growing department :(
So - hopefully the increased dose doesn't mean increased side effects!
Both events were short and sweet, and were relatively comfortable.
The sonographer handed me a pad with a pen and asked me to write numbers as she scanned!
She had an "E" which i wrote a 3 against.
Then against the "L" which stood for Left ovary i wrote 4, and against "R" (right ovary) i wrote 0.
I have no freakin idea what any of that even meant, but i thought it was worth a mention ;) since ill have nothing important to report until the rusults of this mornings tests come back in a few hours.
The Nurse called me at around 12pm with todays results. Sadly my body hasnt responded "as well" to the FSH as it should be, so i have to increase the Puregon dose to 450 starting from tomorrow. I will stay at this dose (along with the Lucrin) and go in for another blood test and scan on Saturday morning.
She explained that the follicles appeared to be too small to even count (4mm or under) and that typically around day 10-12 they should measure approx 16mm. Even though im only on around day 7 of my FSH, i can see im a bit behind in the growing department :(
So - hopefully the increased dose doesn't mean increased side effects!
Day 13
Well the side effects seemed to have well & truly kicked in now :(
On a normal day i am experiencing
*Severe headaches
*lower back pain
*Nausea
*extreme tiredness
*major heartburn
*period type cramping
Hopefully these symptoms will subside after the Egg PickUp, which is another week or so away.
My gorgeous DS went back to school today after having 2 weeks off for the term break. Not only did he look super spunky with his new haircut (given by mummy) but gosh he looked so grown up! I missed not having him around the house!
Tomorrow morning we need to go back to the clinic for *yet another* blood test, and an ultrasound. The ultrasound is an internal one, and will detect and measure the growth of the follicles. I guess this is the real test to see how i have responded to the overall treatment so far. Fingers crossed my ovaries are in overdrive, as this will justify the cramping i have been experiencing.
We need to be there by 7am, so i have booked DS into before school care. We just have to have him up & dressed and teeth brushed and out the door by 6.30am. He will get fed breakfast etc. at before school care, which is a much better option than dragging the poor child around with us for the morning.
On a normal day i am experiencing
*Severe headaches
*lower back pain
*Nausea
*extreme tiredness
*major heartburn
*period type cramping
Hopefully these symptoms will subside after the Egg PickUp, which is another week or so away.
My gorgeous DS went back to school today after having 2 weeks off for the term break. Not only did he look super spunky with his new haircut (given by mummy) but gosh he looked so grown up! I missed not having him around the house!
Tomorrow morning we need to go back to the clinic for *yet another* blood test, and an ultrasound. The ultrasound is an internal one, and will detect and measure the growth of the follicles. I guess this is the real test to see how i have responded to the overall treatment so far. Fingers crossed my ovaries are in overdrive, as this will justify the cramping i have been experiencing.
We need to be there by 7am, so i have booked DS into before school care. We just have to have him up & dressed and teeth brushed and out the door by 6.30am. He will get fed breakfast etc. at before school care, which is a much better option than dragging the poor child around with us for the morning.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Day 12: Lucrin/Puregon
Today marks day 12 of my journey! Time feels like it is passing superquick, and im starting to feel anxious about preparing my body for the Egg PickUp procedure. Im scared shitless its going to be a painful procedure, and im nervous about the amount of eggs which will be successfully harvested. Im also confused about how im feeling regarding the whole process, and whether we are going to get the much-wanted baby out of this cycle or not.
My headaches are becoming so bad at the moment, that im waking at night in agony. My head feels so sore that i can barely lift it off the pillow without howling in pain. Last night I resorted to taking panadol, and according to the IVF clinic, this is perfectly ok and safe to do so.
The needles are going ok, and DH is still in charge of jabbing me, although this morning he looked to peaceful and comfortable after i had already woken him up at 4am for some panadol & water, that i decided to give the dose of Puregon myself. It wasnt overly unpleasant, and didnt hurt, but still id rather he be in charge of that!!
I just returned from a nice night out with my sister and a friend, and whilst we had planned dinner only, they decided to catch a movie. Whilst i would have loved to join them for the 9 o'clock session, i had to be home at 10pm for my Lucrin shot! So alas, i missed out!
Oh well, hopefully i can join them next time!
Oh - I *think* my moods have improved! I still get cranky very easily, however the extremity of the actual crankiness has worn down a little. So i have gone from Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde to the wicked witch of the west! Now my DH, thats gotta be an improvement!
My headaches are becoming so bad at the moment, that im waking at night in agony. My head feels so sore that i can barely lift it off the pillow without howling in pain. Last night I resorted to taking panadol, and according to the IVF clinic, this is perfectly ok and safe to do so.
The needles are going ok, and DH is still in charge of jabbing me, although this morning he looked to peaceful and comfortable after i had already woken him up at 4am for some panadol & water, that i decided to give the dose of Puregon myself. It wasnt overly unpleasant, and didnt hurt, but still id rather he be in charge of that!!
I just returned from a nice night out with my sister and a friend, and whilst we had planned dinner only, they decided to catch a movie. Whilst i would have loved to join them for the 9 o'clock session, i had to be home at 10pm for my Lucrin shot! So alas, i missed out!
Oh well, hopefully i can join them next time!
Oh - I *think* my moods have improved! I still get cranky very easily, however the extremity of the actual crankiness has worn down a little. So i have gone from Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde to the wicked witch of the west! Now my DH, thats gotta be an improvement!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Day 8 - PUREGON
Today is day 8 of my IVF cycle. I had a 250units of Puregon at 7.30am this morning, and 10 units of Lucrin at 10pm tonight! It seems i'll have to double-jab for a few days until i can stop taking the Lucrin. Im due in for another BT on Friday morning to monitor how my body is responding to the Puregon.
Puregon is a Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH). It's a synthetic hormone, identical to human FSH, and given to develop multiple follicles for IVF. Ideally the natural body does not produce "multiple" follicles, it produces one at a time. It's a standard procedure of IVF to produce "as many as you can" as all these follicles/eggs will be used, and even stored for later use.
FSH is administered by daily injection, and is required to be taken for 10-14 days.
Here is what it looks like!
The pen itself is simple to use, however i think the way it adminsters the drugs kind of sucks. I have to set the dial to administer the 250 units, which eliminates the actual 'measuring' by me. But once the needle is in the tummy, the end of the pen is pushed to release the drugs. It release around 10units per tick, so really, im standing there for around 25 seconds with a needle hanging out of my tummy, while pushing down on the end of the pen!! An injection would have been much more simpler! Not that it hurts - i still use an ice-pack to freeze myself over first!!
Puregon is a Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH). It's a synthetic hormone, identical to human FSH, and given to develop multiple follicles for IVF. Ideally the natural body does not produce "multiple" follicles, it produces one at a time. It's a standard procedure of IVF to produce "as many as you can" as all these follicles/eggs will be used, and even stored for later use.
FSH is administered by daily injection, and is required to be taken for 10-14 days.
Here is what it looks like!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Day 7 of Lucrin
Well hasn't time flown for me! Im already on day 7 of taking Lucrin! And surprisingly, i feel im coping ok with the needles, infact i did the one on day 5 by myself! Yep, i had stage fright for a minute or two, but once i jabbed the needle into my tummy, i just squeezed the trigger and pulled it out, and it was all over :)
We were all up at the crack of dawn to be at the Sydney IVF clinic at 7am for some routine blood tests. The nurse who took the bloods was very fast and gentle, and needless to say, it was a pleasant experience. She showed us how i would be administering the next lot of hormones, called Puregon. Dh was with me once again, as he will be the one injecting it!
I recieved a call from the clinic around 10.30am to say the results from the bloods had come in, and i was responding well so far, hence i could start the Puregon tomorrow morning. Then i have to go back for another blood test on friday morning. At this rate, the egg pickup (EPU) will be scheduled for around 2 weeks time, and the transfer will be the week following the EPU! How exciting!! The thought of possibly being pregnant in the next few weeks is extremely exciting and anxious!!
We were all up at the crack of dawn to be at the Sydney IVF clinic at 7am for some routine blood tests. The nurse who took the bloods was very fast and gentle, and needless to say, it was a pleasant experience. She showed us how i would be administering the next lot of hormones, called Puregon. Dh was with me once again, as he will be the one injecting it!
I recieved a call from the clinic around 10.30am to say the results from the bloods had come in, and i was responding well so far, hence i could start the Puregon tomorrow morning. Then i have to go back for another blood test on friday morning. At this rate, the egg pickup (EPU) will be scheduled for around 2 weeks time, and the transfer will be the week following the EPU! How exciting!! The thought of possibly being pregnant in the next few weeks is extremely exciting and anxious!!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Day 5 Moods :s
Ok, so im back again today, as i would like to write about something im not particularly proud about. My moods seem to be getting out of hand as of lately. DH is usually at the receiving end of the brunts, and while in the heat of the moment i blurt out all this nonsense jibber, i honestly regret it after. The problem is, what i say while im in the heat of the moment is usually out of left field and has nothing to do with anything (i know that makes no sense, but it makes no sense to me too). So anyways, the part im not proud about is calling my DH a fat piece of shit. Now really, who in their right mind would use such demeaning and insulting words?? I feel like a cow right now :(
It was so uncalled for, and so inappropriate. His crime you may ask? Well, not parking where i asked him to, resulting in me walking an extra 3 steps to drop a package in the mailbox ignited the off-mood. But it was actually forgetting the eggs from the supermarket (which i emphasised i needed to make dinner) that ignited the fire. He is so kind and caring toward me, and has been nothing but supporting throughout this whole experience. Even the 2 other closest people who i honestly thought i would be able to rely on during this time are not here for me, and i dont think will be (they have their own "important" things going on in their lives, obviously too busy to notice i need them more than ever right now). So DH has not only been expected to be my rock, my supportive partner, and my supportive mentor, but also my best friend and my sister at the same time.
I hate justifying such immature actions, as i know there is no way to justify speaking to my own husband like that, but im just so angry that my sister cannot pick up the phone to ring me to ask how everything is going. She knew about my fertilty issues, and even though she probably doesnt know we have begun IVF, she did know i was looking into it, and had some appointments regarding combatting infertility. Instead she is too busy planning her wedding.
It was so uncalled for, and so inappropriate. His crime you may ask? Well, not parking where i asked him to, resulting in me walking an extra 3 steps to drop a package in the mailbox ignited the off-mood. But it was actually forgetting the eggs from the supermarket (which i emphasised i needed to make dinner) that ignited the fire. He is so kind and caring toward me, and has been nothing but supporting throughout this whole experience. Even the 2 other closest people who i honestly thought i would be able to rely on during this time are not here for me, and i dont think will be (they have their own "important" things going on in their lives, obviously too busy to notice i need them more than ever right now). So DH has not only been expected to be my rock, my supportive partner, and my supportive mentor, but also my best friend and my sister at the same time.
I hate justifying such immature actions, as i know there is no way to justify speaking to my own husband like that, but im just so angry that my sister cannot pick up the phone to ring me to ask how everything is going. She knew about my fertilty issues, and even though she probably doesnt know we have begun IVF, she did know i was looking into it, and had some appointments regarding combatting infertility. Instead she is too busy planning her wedding.
My progress with daily Lucrin injections - 11th October 2009
Ok, so today is Day 5 of taking Lucrin. The needle itself is tiny. They are the same size needles used by diabetics to administer insulin, hence their size and ease to use. Im a huge whoos when it comes to needles. Having a father as a doctor, i would huddle up into my mums lap while he gave us flu/hep/travel shots etc. so as you can imagine, with no lap to huddle into, and an inexperienced administrator, im usually an anxious mess by 9.55pm! There is no way i could inflict any sort of pain upon myself, and there was certainly no way i could ever give myself a needle!
So trusty ol' DH has been allocated the job! Well why not? After all, he has to play a part in the whole process too! So while he fills the syringe with 10 units of Lucrin, i stand there numbing an area of my tummy with an ice pack! Yes i know, it sounds like a drastic measure, but honestly, i dont even feel the needle go in! An he is doing a super job of making sure i get my fix at 10pm each night!
For the first 4 nights, we couldnt even see where the needle had gone through the skin, thats how fine the needle is! But last night, although i didnt feel a thing, the site bled after the syringe was removed. I wiped it up, thinking nothing of it. Then this morning, i woke up to this!!!
It doesn't hurt as such, but feels a bit bruised and tender to touch. Hopefully it will be gone in the next day or two!
So trusty ol' DH has been allocated the job! Well why not? After all, he has to play a part in the whole process too! So while he fills the syringe with 10 units of Lucrin, i stand there numbing an area of my tummy with an ice pack! Yes i know, it sounds like a drastic measure, but honestly, i dont even feel the needle go in! An he is doing a super job of making sure i get my fix at 10pm each night!
For the first 4 nights, we couldnt even see where the needle had gone through the skin, thats how fine the needle is! But last night, although i didnt feel a thing, the site bled after the syringe was removed. I wiped it up, thinking nothing of it. Then this morning, i woke up to this!!!
It doesn't hurt as such, but feels a bit bruised and tender to touch. Hopefully it will be gone in the next day or two!
Meeting at Sydney IVF - Tuesday 6th October 2009
Today we had our fisrt meeting with Sydney IVF. Upon meeting the nurse, i already had a good feeling about this. By that point, i had known that i had made the right decision to follow through with the IVF using Sydney IVF, despite them being much more pricier than the rest.
DH had to come with me (its their standard procedure to have him at the initial visit) and we had no option but to take DS in aswell. At the point of making the appointment, i didnt realise it would fall on the first Tuesday of school holidays!! Nonetheless he behaved like a perfect little angel, and his nintendo ds kept him entertained for the hour and a half we were there!
The nurse went through all the nitty gritty details of costs etc. and then we were down to business! Because Dr. Lok had prescribed me the pill from my last appointment i had with him (4 weeks prior to this appointment), i was ready to start the treatment ASAP! DH was also excited that we could start right away instead of waiting around for the few extra weeks to get my cycle into gear etc.
The first set of drugs which i have to begin taking is called LUCRIN.
Lucrin is a hormone which suppresses the release of Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) and Luteinizing Hormone (LH) from the pituitary gland. This prevents spontaneousovulation (ie release of the ripe eggs from the ova
ry) before ovum pick-up (OPU). It needs to be administered as a given as a subcutaneous injection!! Yes thats right!! an injection!! It is given around the same time, daily, for a couple of weeks.
Anyways, here are the goods....$245 worth to be precise!
DH had to come with me (its their standard procedure to have him at the initial visit) and we had no option but to take DS in aswell. At the point of making the appointment, i didnt realise it would fall on the first Tuesday of school holidays!! Nonetheless he behaved like a perfect little angel, and his nintendo ds kept him entertained for the hour and a half we were there!
The nurse went through all the nitty gritty details of costs etc. and then we were down to business! Because Dr. Lok had prescribed me the pill from my last appointment i had with him (4 weeks prior to this appointment), i was ready to start the treatment ASAP! DH was also excited that we could start right away instead of waiting around for the few extra weeks to get my cycle into gear etc.
The first set of drugs which i have to begin taking is called LUCRIN.
Lucrin is a hormone which suppresses the release of Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) and Luteinizing Hormone (LH) from the pituitary gland. This prevents spontaneousovulation (ie release of the ripe eggs from the ova
ry) before ovum pick-up (OPU). It needs to be administered as a given as a subcutaneous injection!! Yes thats right!! an injection!! It is given around the same time, daily, for a couple of weeks.
Anyways, here are the goods....$245 worth to be precise!
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